A lot of chaps appear to have mistook this for a Jacobean brothel so I shall endeavour to keep it clean. I am polite. I am punctual. I am allegedly well spoken. I enjoy Bushmills. I will not be joining the Hollister Reich anytime soon. I revel at random shenanigans on water. As a child i wanted to be a fire engine which i suppose at least shows i have flirted with the aspirational. I spend a lot of time walking whilst reading books much to my spatial detriment. With a gun to my head I can rustle up a pretty edible seafood risotto. I have an affinity for Tudor History in all forms and guises. I tend to be the chap holding doors for strangers. My favourite book is ''The Secret History'' by Donna Tartt which may go a long way to explaining my fondness for dignified ennui. A play of mine ''After The Bell Jar'' will be on again in The Crescent Arts Centre in September and I've misguidedly co-founded a new theatre company to do others. I pine for a Vietnamese pot-bellied pig - I would name him Charles. Of an evening I enjoy laughing at the inappropriate. If I had any phobias they would be Neil Sedaka and the use of acronyms in any given conversation. I think popular music is sorely missing the castanets. I leave translated Arthur Rimbaud quotes on post-its around random parts of the city. I have the very British sensibilities of feeling compelled to ask taxi men about their work schedules, politely refusing most refreshments when asked, oh, and offering a litany of thank-yous during a solitary transaction. I fear for the generation of children being dragged up by mothers in cartoon 'onesies'. I'm partial to a well placed pun, oblique historical references and witnessing a poorly executed chat-up technique - I find them gripping.

Characteristics

Artistic Compulsive Intellectual Low Maintenance Open Minded Self Confident Spontaneous